We’re gonna back up a bit to part way through part four of our story because there was a big dynamic shift with the arrival of one of our mutual best friends back in the country. 

A different friend to the one who left just before attempt one of being dry, one who’d left a lot earlier in the year and was now returning in anticipation of starting school in the autumn. 

Our situation is a little odd. Because we were friends for so long before we started dating our friendship group is almost identical, and we share one of our closest friends. The weirdness works quite well. I’m a talker and like to get my problems and worries out of my head so I talk to this friend. My partner is not a talker so they share a more boy talk style of relationship. 

This friend, we’ll call him Freddie to try and mitigate confusion, knows everything. He has always been my first point of contact when I’ve needed someone to talk to. He is the person I cried over Skype to when I found the self harming for the first time. Who I pour my heart to about how I feel about my partners drinking, what I worry about, what he’s done and what is going on. 

For Freddie to experience what I live through first hand has been eye opening for him. It’s immersed him fully in the day to day reality of the mood swings and couch sleeping. 

One night he struck a deal with him, a no liquor pact. Just beer. This last about a week but it reduced the depressive mood and improved his sleeping pattern. 

For my partner, having one of his best friends around again has definitely helped, they have boy chat about gaming and general banter, it has definitely lifted his spirits. For me, I appreciate the support and the daily updates of what I’m coming home too. It helps me mentally prepare for what I am going to face when I walk in the door. 

Is it a fair situation for Freddie to be living in? Possibly not. But he knew what he was coming back to and he chooses to stay. When he first moved in my partner was still spending 4 days a week at his flat.

Both Freddie and I would love nothing more than for my partner to get back in control of his situation, but we both know we can’t push it. It has to be his decision to change, so for now, we have resorted to keeping our stash of alcohol on Freddie’s room and our fingers firmly crossed. 

Picture source: http://pin.it/KLFDr-C